An Actor Ponders
And now, a look behind Andrew’s furrowed brow.
Why am I still looking at job postings? Why do I still have an active RSS feed section devoted to new possible job opportunities, combing and scanning through craigslist, Alliance for Arts, and others, for me to glance through every few days?
I worked for eleven different employers last year. I am currently on the payroll for four organizations, with two others occasionally bringing me in every other month or so.
Oh, and these are the non-theatre-companies. Those are separate. Workshopping a play with one right now, and performing with another company for the next two months.
That’s right! I’m finally finding work as an actor! Fantastic! For two months. Then I’m back. Time to look for another job.
Why? Don’t you have enough?
But there are more opportunities out there! Ones you don’t know of, if you aren’t looking!
An actor always looks for auditions. Always hunts for opportunities. Never ending. Heading to auditions while rehearsing for something else. Endless job interviews. Endless rejections and successes.
I’ve been trained this way.
I’ve been trained to approach my work-for-hire life this way.
I don’t have enough time now to offer my employers.
I’m spending too much time at work. I could take more time off.
I could miss out on more opportunities.
Maybe I should check my RSS feeds one more time.
Oh. Right. I’m doing Fringe Festivals this summer. Who’s going to hire a guy who disappears for several weeks at a time, over and over again?
Right. My lovely, current employers. Who I enjoy working for! Not as much as I enjoy working on shows and being a theatre creator and performer, of course. But I appreciate and enjoy them.
But I could appreciate and enjoy something else!
Or maybe I should be dropping everything for a few months and see if this whole ‘actor and writer’ career thing can sustain itself!
That seems somewhat foolish and unnecessary. And maybe I’ll find out I don’t enjoy living only that way, very much! That could shatter me. A lot of sunken cost time into this theatre acting thing. Or maybe I’d get lazy. If I give myself too much free time, maybe I’d just squander it by hiding in books and games. Besides, my employers are happy to trade me 80$ for my day. I can’t turn that down!
Well, I could, I suppose. Technically.
And I guess I have! Sorta. For this and the next two months, living the life of the working actor.
This’ll be a grand experiment. I’m thrilled. I’m just so thrilled. Really. I am. Just peached to the extreme. Don’t lose that, Andrew! That excitement! Those butterflies! Hee!
And then it’s done, and I’m back to the dayjobs until Fringe festivals. Where I’ll likely lose money again, when considering travel costs.
I should check those job postings. Or accept more shifts in the couple days I have off before the theatre contract.
No! I’m not superhuman… I need some time to recharge. Groceries, laundry, as well, I suppose.
No, Andrew, people aren’t going to laden you down unreasonably. They expect you to need some time to yourself each day. Most people only work five shifts a week.
But I could pick up shifts on those other weeks? Or find someone willing to pay me to do something new!
I should check those feeds again. After all, as a pay-for-hire, I’m really contracting out my time to organizations. Makes sense to continually look for new clients, right? Diversification. Allows me to stick with my favourites and perhaps others fall to the wayside. Or find you unreliable because you’re never free and always gallivanting off to to theatre stuff.
Theatre stuff! I get to do theatre stuff this year! Yay! And maybe next year?
I don’t think I can take on any more than I’m doing.
But maybe there’s something better out there!
But I can’t get trapped in single full-time job life! Right? Right? That’s where people stop pursuing crazy things like acting, isn’t it? Where people get complacent?
I think I’m afraid of becoming complacent.
Or is that contentment? Is that what those people have?
I feel like I’m planning my life so that whenever I want to, I can leave everything and go pursue something else. Keeping one foot out the door. Or at least, holding the door open. Like an actor does, always on the hunt for the next opportunity.
Do I have a problem, or am I doing this right?