Home > Silly, writing > Poem: Emily, Our Coworker

Poem: Emily, Our Coworker

Emily has a boyfriend,
which she’d like us to remember,
even though we were just asking her what she felt about the weather

Emily has a boyfriend,
he’s in every conversation
about shifts or films or customers or who should clean the station

Emily has a boyfriend,
he’s all she can talk about,
did you know he drives a motorbike? Well HIS favourite beer’s a stout.

Yes we know you have a boyfriend,
no need to clarify
in every weekly meeting
that you’re taken, by that guy

We don’t care who you’re screwing,
just don’t do it at work
but if we’re on the topic,
he sounds like he’s a jerk

and don’t say we don’t know him,
we’ve heard his every trait
you’re his friggin’ oral biographer
with those factoids you relate

You make all these excuses
(that we didn’t need to hear)
for why he wasn’t at your birthday
or at Christmas this past year

And we really do not care if your sex life is in a rut
but it sounds more like his dick here is the problem, not your… flower.
Now you’ve got me talking like this —
we just work together!

Have you heard of TMI? Or of living privately?
Or of dumping your two-timing boyfriend who makes it hurt now when you pee?

Yes you talked about that too,
quite loudly, might I say,
while a customer was waiting right behind you yesterday

Please go to see a therapist
to talk about your man
about how he’s not working,
but he’s smart! And has a plan!

I get that you’re in love
and that you hope the same for me
though obviously not with you,
for you have a boyfriend, YES, I SEE.

You’re borderline obsessive,
and to be honest? Rather dim.
I am not trying to date you.
I feel like I’ve dated him.

Categories: Silly, writing
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s