old bike tire
Image by combustionchamber via Flickr

Step 1: Retrieve bike from bike repair shop. Listen to warning about fracturing rims.
Step 2: Get flat tire on way home from bike shop. Bus home with bike.
Step 3: Find out the tubes you bought (to replace flat tires with) are an odd type you haven’t seen before.
Step 4: Find out your bike pump can’t pump up this type of tube.
Step 5: Borrow brother’s dinky little bike pump (that can handle this type of tube).
Step 6: Deal with motion-sensing light in the garage that refuses to stay on without frantic arm waving every minute or so.
Step 7: Attempt to pump up tire. Deflate. Readjust tire (wasn’t fully in the rim). Reinflate. Deflate. Readjust tire (wasn’t fully in the rim. Again.).
Step 8: Frantically wave arms every minute or so to avoid pitch darkness, while pumping up tire.
Step 9: Give up.
Step 10: Get brother to get out of bed and come help inflate tire.
Step 11: Give up on doing any homework tonight (that is due tomorrow) and just sleep.

Step 12: Dream of bike getting a flat on way to school.

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2 thoughts on “How not to own a bike.

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